"How being too picky can keep you single"

That's a headline I just saw on the front page of Yahoo! The line under it says "A dating expert says people are looking for the wrong things, like attractiveness." That's a terrible thing to be telling people. To be fair, the article is really talking about those people who have "types" that they're attracted to. For example, someone who won't date someone who is too short because they like tall guys, or someone who won't date a blond because they like redheads. That is being far too picky, and I've never really understood people that have types they're attracted to. I honestly don't think any height or haircolor is better than another on a girl. I've been attracted to shorter girls and I've been attracted to girls almost as tall as I am, and I'm 6'3". I don't think any haircolor is more appealing than another, it just has to look good on the girl. I guess if someone's attracted to tall guys or redheads, they can't really help it though, and I can't really blame them for wanting to be with a tall guy or a redhead.

None of that is the same thing as attractiveness though. I don't want people getting confused and being convinced they should lower their standards to actually date people they aren't attracted to. The article says that looks are "only skin deep". The headline itself makes it sound as if not being single is more important than being attracted to who you're with. I happen to think looks are very important. If you're in a romantic relationship with them, you need to be attracted to them. If you're going to be marrying them and spending the rest of your life with them, you damn well better be attracted to them. Otherwise there's just going to be problems stemming from the fact that you aren't attracted to them. For example, you finding someone else more attractive, or your spouse feeling insecure because you don't find them attractive enough. Those could lead to cheating on both sides, and just general unhappiness.

I have no idea what the numbers actually are, because how would you ever conduct a poll or a study about it, but I believe there are far more people lowering their standards already (or simply having the wrong standards) than there are people who are always single because they're too picky. There are so many people who just seem terrified of being single that they'll not only date, but be in an extended relationship with just anyone. It's mostly females too that do this. All around I see girls in relationships with total douchebags. I don't like using that term, but what it's come to mean is really the best way to describe the type of guys I'm talking about. And it doesn't stop with just being in a relationship with them. They're marrying douchebags, and having children with douchebags. If they break up with the douchebag, they're so uncomfortable being single that within a week they're with another total douchebag, and they think they're in love. By doing that, they're just making themselves unavailable to better people. The problem here is that they are so desperate to not be single that they aren't picky enough. That seems to me like much more of a pandemic than single 20-somethings walking around, who are mostly only single not through being too picky, but because they actually have standards, and everyone they meet worth wanting to be in a relationship with is already in a relationship with a douchebag.